resident eviWTF!
by Madtala
Summary: I was just enjoying my game of killing zombies, but nooooo, God says, you have to kill real zombies. Damn it. rated T for gore, violence, and CUSSIN! NOT THOSE WEIRD ASS OCXWESKER STORIES, uh-uh. so, here.
1. Wesker woohooo

Resident Evi-WTF~?

A/N:OMGWTFLMAO just got this Idea while I was reading this WeskerxOC story, ok, but I'm not gonna follow them the sayum way they did it, no, but completely different.

"Yeah, die zombie DIE!" I screamed at the screen as I was moving the wii to shoot the zombies in the head. I was playing Albert Wesker, the only person I could play in that chapter. You know, the extra chapters, I can never get higher than a B, which sucks.

"You Are Dead." It says. I look, gawked, I thought I had those fancy thingy's in the bottom that made you come back to life, I was pretty sure the game didn't give a crap about that though. I just looked, raised my wii controller, and press yes.

"Die! AAGGGHH~~~~! "This thing should have been destroyed?" Well why the hayelll isn't it? How can you be so calm in these situations weske- Ahhh damn it, I died." I looked at the screen, than at the controller, and again, and again, for some time, than I looked at the controller, and threw it at the TV."Damn you Wesker." It kinda backfired cause like rubber, it flew back and hit me straight smack in the middle of my head, which surpisingly made me pass out. I say surprisingly cause this has never happened to me before.

*8 painful hours later...*

I woke up, to find myself in armour, cool, but creepy at the same time, did someone change my clothes for me? Ugh, just thinking about it creeps me out."Oh, finally up I see." I looked to find the source of the voice, only to find a creepy ass blondy*sorry* staring down at me like a hobo and his first free sandwich."Okay creep, stop staring at me." I said to him harshly, but something about him reminded me of someone...

hmm, sunglasses, deadly red eyes, black trenchcoat, blond hair, I know, he must be Gin, from Detective Conan. Oh god, I remember when I got stuck in that world, and let me say one thing:NEVER AGAIN~!"G-G-Gin? Is that you?" I said with confused eyes, hoping he would notice me,' I mean, he did kidnap me and nearly kill me once, but other than that we're complete buddies!' I thought with sarcasm as the man took off his sunglasses.

"Gin?Who is this Gin?" *that's the name I decided to give him* said in a robotic tone-... robotic?-yep,that's what I said.-u sure? cause u sometimes read it wrong sir-yes, I am sure, now on with the story.'That robotic voice, combined with all the other un-important crap I said about him before... must be a cosplayer, I'll just follow his games for now.

"He was someone unimportant, and you reminded me of him, blondy." I said with an uncaring look, even he couldn't look through it.

"Hmmm, come on, your a survivor, we have,- let me rephrase that- I have to get you out of here alive." He said, I looked around, magically picking up weapons all around us, when someone came near us with bloodshot eyes. I was super scared so I closed my eyes, only to feel something warm spray onto my clothes. It stunk. I opened my eyes, only to see the once bloodshot man, lying on the floor, now headless.

I then looked at my shirt, and at the corpse again, I did this for some time, and for the first time in my life... I was truly terrified. I mean, anyone would be if they got stuck with a cosplayer that took their roll playing way too far. I mean did you read that?

"OH...MY...GOD! YOU-YOU-YOU KILLED HIM! YOUR A PSYCHO!" I screamed, covering my ears, and backing away. I closed my eyes as well, because I did not want to see the situation around me, when I heard a crack and felt serious wind on my face. T-the balcony... the balcony! I all but forgot about it! I opened my eyes and began to scream, I didn't want to be saved, but, I would have to be. about 2-3 seconds give or take, I got attacked by the balcony railing, yes that's right, it attacked me.

Okay, I was just falling, when someone grabbed my hand, and caused me to get hit in the head by this damned railing. Why does everything want to attack my poor head today? I asked as he pulled me up."Am I awake?" I asked, then looked at the dead body, gasped, and fainted.

_Me-*crying* I'm sorry if it was crappy, please don't kill me!*goes into corner* I may never be a good writer.

Wesker-Of course you will.*sarcasm*

Me-Don't you use sarcasm with me young man, or no Orobourus for you! *holds Oro...Oro... that BOW weapon thing*

Wesker-fine.*grumbles-i wouldn't have to listen to you if you stopped using that against me*

Me- what was that

Wesker-nuthin.


	2. Lisa Trevor

Resident Evi-WTF?

A/N:Ah-lele?*checks first chapter* noone reviewed... *sigh* Oh well. I guess we'll*sniff* just start the story now.

we don't own wesker, or resident evil. T_T

*3 hours later*

"Ok. So, this is all real, and... you're... real." I said, taking caution with every word.

"Yes, that is correct." Said Wesker, at least he doesn't know that I know him.

"Well then, who are you?" I asked, I think it's Wesker, but I have to confirm my theories.

"Albert Wesker." He said. I froze instantly. I was scared, but I pushed it off.

"Yami ni madoishi aware no kage(oh pitiful soul lost in the darkness)" Is what I thought he was, I muttered it, but apparently I said it too loud as he stared at me, wondering what I had said, but I knew he quickly got onto another subject when he said this:"Who are you?"

I froze, not caring if my fear was shown anymore, maybe I could explain to him everything that happened... but I won't, as I do not trust him. I stood for a minute like that, then when he stopped to tell me to hurry up, I subconsiously said," Ai! Umoneko Ai sir!" while making the stance Wesker only knew to be from his 'companions'. Just thinking of the fact he would do this horrible thing didn't surprise me, but it made me disgusted.

"You seem to know me longer than I know you, tell me ... Ai, what do you know about me?" I was scared of him, but I knew it would pass, I calmed down, and said:"You will find out later, first we have to get out of here alive." I said with a stern face, even if I was with the person I despised most, I would have to work with him to get out, I have played this level anyway, I should know what's ahead...'no...NO, NOT HER! NOT HERE!' I thought, I remembered poor Lisa... and my hatred for Wesker kept growing, but my rational mind kept me in check.

I completely forgot what she looked like, but knowing Wesker was involved, they must have scarred her pretty bad. I remembered the pain through as a child, compared to hers though, they were nothing. Compared to a lot of people, my troubles were nothing, even Wesker, he lost his best friend, and brother from another mother. He may not even know his own parents. This made me think what he was really thinking, maybe he just wanted his parents to be proud of him, I don't know, but they did a crappy job raising him the first who knows how many years of his life.

We kept walking, killing zombies, hunters, all the like. It hurt me to do so, but whenever I thought I was doing something bad, I reminded myself, that their souls are all in heaven now, which didn't help much, but anything that calmed me down was help enough. But then, there she was, Lisa. I saw two,three, if not four faces on her own, piled and piled, one on another. I felt revolted, disgusted, but these feelings overrided all others... sadness, pity, sympathy. I stared as she started for Wesker.

As she was about to hit him, I leaped, and gave her a hug... she deserved one, she needed one. She started punching me as hard as she could in her binded situation. So much in fact, I was already coughing up blood, but I didn't care. She was going to die, she deserved to be shown some care, some love, some... some happiness. I didn't know if she could talk or not, but I didn't care.

"It's ok now... it's ok." I muttered to her, not knowing if she heard, but her growling was my response. I kept hugging her, she started to calm down a bit.

"I will tell you what happened to your mother, do you know? Or... do you remember?" I asked. This made her mad. I didn't back up. Instead I got thrown back by her punch. Though I didn't care for that either. I stumbled up to her, trying to breath, and trying to stand up.

"It's... It's ok now, your mother is in heaven! She's in a better place, away from this terrible fate that you are forced to follow! You were supposed to have died years ago... to... to be... with your mother... and father...in heaven." With these last few breaths, I passed out. In the next few minutes I felt, heard, and smelt smoke rising from the mansion, but I also felt alot lighter than before. Was it, could it have been... Wesker... he... saved me? He probably is gonna do some tests on me, to find out why I am not dead even though I lost all this blood.

"I know your awake, you can't fake it." He said. Damn him and his mind reading abilities."How did you survive that, did you take the virus as well?"

I looked up at him, shocked. Then, when he was undefended, I slapped him, not that hard, but hard enough to hurt him."I WOULD NEVER SINK TO THAT KIND OF LEVEL! EVER! I WOULD RELY ON MY OWN STRENGTH, RATHER THAN GETTING PEOPLE TO DO THINGS FOR ME!" I hated it when people thought my immortality came from somewhere other than myself, just because I am a girl.

"You... actually managed to hurt me. What are you, you insect?" I snarled.

"Just in case you didn't know already by these bracelets, I am a vampire, and a restricted one at that. To live here, this was part of the procedure. If I take these off, your super human strength to me is nothing." I smiled back, laughing all the while, as he stood there, smiling back... I then got this feeling, not that feeling readers, to... kill. I don't know why, it wasn't that strong either, so I pushed it back, and back and farther, as we started walking away from the mansion, Wesker began to laugh.

When he was laughing, I was laughing, when he stopped, I stopped. He just looked at me...

"Why did you laugh when I laughed?" He asked.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked. He may have just put the question aside.

Me: OMG I THINK WE SHARE A BRAIN NOW! =D

Wesker: With you? I'd sooner be dead.

Me:1) you already are. 2)It's just because I accept anime and shun science isn't it?

Wesker: Very true to both, but also more.

Me:What?

Wesker: It doesn't take just some stupid laughing to make it that we share a brain, you could just be copying me.

Me: I don't copy... alot. ok? anyway, I hope you liked it! =D


	3. WHY ME!

Resident Evi-WTF?

A/N:Sorry if you got confused in the last chapter people, I'll make sure that this one is more understandable. =)

And without a further a-du, chapter 3:WHAT THE? WHO THE?... AWW DAM IT!(get it, like a beaver? I know, It's not funny.)

me:heller peoples, and welcome back to the Me and Wesker chat talk!

Me:*cough* hey... peoples

Wesker:what's wrong?

Me:*hack* nothin.

Wesker: your a terrible liar.

Me: you'll find out when you read *cough cough* the story.

Wesker:... ok.

Me:*cough* oh, your OOC for this chapter.

Wesker: I noticed.

Me and Wesker: on w/ the story.*cough*

Me: I'm just gonna go to the doctor. *walks away*

Wesker:...what? *awkwardly walks away*

"Just in case you didn't know already by these bracelets, I am a vampire, and a restricted one at that. To live here, this was part of the procedure. If I take these off, your super human strength to me is nothing." I smiled back, laughing all the while, as he stood there, smiling back... I then got this feeling, not that feeling readers, to... kill. I don't know why, it wasn't that strong either, so I pushed it back, and back and farther, as we started walking away from the mansion, Wesker began to laugh.

When he was laughing, I was laughing, when he stopped, I stopped. He just looked at me...

"Why did you laugh when I laughed?" He asked.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked. He may have just put the question aside.

_I honestly didn't know what he was talking about._

*An hour later*

You can put me down. He looked at me weird, and put me down. I started walking fine, but after a couple hours, things became a little weird, and everything started changing colours. By that time, we had reached a conveniently placed convertable, where we went inside, and Wesker, being the genius and thinks he knows-it-all, and hot wires the car. It was a jeep, not that comfortable, but it was the only working car with gas in it.

20 minutes later we figured out someone owned it, and it was near a gas station. My stomach started hurting, and everything started turning... red. Then purple, and blue, and yellow. It was like I took a short visit to the 70s and got high on their crack, then went spiritually back into my body, in the present. Everything started to go crazy, and I looked in the front, only to see black. 'Am I going blind?' I asked myself in my head.

Soon, everything starts to go black, but I keep thinking it was just getting dark, because I can't see in the dark, but when we got on the car, ahem, jeep, it was daytime, about 3 ish. Soon after I could no longer see my hand in front of my face. I began to get scared, and felt around for the couch, then the seat in front of me:Wesker's seat. I found it, and continued to hit it. As I was doing that, my breathing became heavier, my lungs hurting. I could barely speak.

"What do you think your doing?" He asked, hiding the fact that he was mad now. "I'm going blind." I said in my hoarse voice, but it was so low, even for Wesker's highly trained ears. I felt something coming out my ears, I reached for the wet spots on my face, and tasted it.

Blood.

I was bleeding. Everything started to get heavy, and I think I started to close my eyes.

*3 hours later*

When I opened my eyes, I could see, the sky, the trees. But something was different, everything in fact. The road was bumpy, and I could feel it without having to look up, the sky was arranged differently, and the trees, were they like that before? More importantly, I couldn't see the sky before. I was irritated that I was exposed to this heat, and yelled:

"WESKER! CAN'T YOU STOP RIPPING THE ROOF OFF OF EVERY CAR WE COME UP TO? OR BETTER YET, GO BACK AND GET THE ROOF OF OUR CAR YOU IDIOT! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO THAT JUST TO HAVE A REASON TO WEAR THOSE STUPID SUNGLASS-... well, this is weird." I said as I looked up, expecting to see a blond man with sunglasses wearing all black, but instead seeing a man that looks like he's on steroids but probably isn't, with brown hair and that green outfit.

Yes, Chris Redfield. I am in Resident Evil 5. that latest, and probably last game in the Resident Evil Game history.

A/N: So everybody, how was it? good, bad, please answer. please review, I mean. Yeah, it would be nice if you did. T^T lately, I haven't gotten many new reviews, so that means one of two things, or both:

like the stories before mine better

or

2. Resident Evil is going down the toilet.

or better yet

3. I'm not a good writer. Is that true?


	4. oh joy, sheva

_Kill... me. ... now... or maybe not._

_a/n: sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, I have been taking a fanfiction break, just to relax a little._

_I know some of you thought it was funny, but I don't think I was funny. If you could review and tell me if I am funny or not, that would be great._

_also, instead of wesker, today is chris! =D_

Me: Hello...*reads paper* Chris!

Chris: Hi. Umm, why am I here?

Me: Because Wesker can't, and your the only one here. So it's either that, or Excella... come on now, that's not much of a choice.

Chris: Who is Excella?

Me: You'll find out. anyway, Chris, let's read the disclaimer.

Chris and Me: WE OWN NOTHING!

Me: yeah, but I own a brain. lol, just kidding. He's pretty smart. oh, yeah, this is a pretty depressing chapter, the night - surprisingly - is my goth mode. I think... just read the chapter and tell me if it is.

Chris: Thanks.

Me:... For Chris. *high fives Wesker in the bushes*

Chris: What is HE doing here?

Me: ON TO THE STORY!

"WESKER! CAN'T YOU STOP RIPPING THE ROOF OFF OF EVERY CAR WE COME UP TO? OR BETTER YET, GO BACK AND GET THE ROOF OF OUR CAR YOU IDIOT! YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO THAT JUST TO HAVE A REASON TO WEAR THOSE STUPID SUNGLASS-... well, this is weird." I said as I looked up, expecting to see a blond man with sunglasses wearing all black, but instead seeing a man that looks like he's on steroids but probably isn't, with brown hair and that green outfit.

Yes, Chris Redfield. I am in Resident Evil 5. that latest, and probably last game in the Resident Evil Game history.

We sat in the car, driving, and speechless. Finally, after some awkward silence, Chris spoke up."How do you know Wesker? He is very dangerous, did he threaten yo-" I cut him short by holding my hand up."yes?" He said, this must be the nice Chris.

"I know Wesker, because he saved my life. To you he may be cold, he even stole the per-... anyway, if he was the Wesker YOU knew, would he have saved me? Would he have carried extra weight?" I said, expectedly looking for an answer, because I didn't know either. He tried opening his mouth to say something, but closed it again, knowing he had no counter argument to my words.

"He... for a flash of a second, moment, in those times... was the old Wesker. The human Wesker... The pitying Wesker. Wesker wasn't always cold. Here, a flashback would be good, but I don't know his past, so if you give me time to explain, you'll understand why he is the way he is." I said, serious, because, like any Wesker fan, I didn't want him to die, no one should die, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but neither should Excella.

" There is no story. Wesker is like that-"

"For a reason. It's very sad as well might I add. See:

For the Wesker project - that is for another day - Wesker, which is not even his real last NAME, was forcefully taken away from his family at a certain age, due to his superiority. You weren't even born then just to point out. He was then tested dangerous courses, where only he came out either victorious, or alive. Mostly it was both. During the training, he kept thinking about his family, but he soon realised, he was to young, and weak to escape from the hell hole, which is why he had sympathy for Lisa Trevor, because she was living in the same conditions.

Wesker, when he turned 18, joined umbrella, in hopes of taking it down, as revenge for his now dead parents, now meaning not the flashback, but the time we are in now. Anyway, the only way he could do that was to trick you, but when he took down umbrella, he remembered the horrible day that caused him to be taken away from his happiness, the joy he can't remember. He became enraged at the people that ripped him apart, and put him together again, thinking if he could evolutionize humans, they could realise what horrible things they have committed or something.

Anyway, Wesker... he's... he's fighting too. He really doesn't think anything he's been doing was bad, because, since everyone else was doing it, he thought it was ok. But that's wrong, and I don't know if we can save him anymore... The good Wesker... The Wesker I know... The man with the blue eyes, instead of red, and evil. Wesker's old eyes used to comfort people, bring them warmth, now? It only brings hate, and scorn to those around him... I MEAN LOOK AT YOU! YOU WERE PARTNERS, AND NOW YOU HATE HIM! SO WESKER HATES YOU, HE HAS HIS REASONS..." I stopped, to catch my breath, looking at Chris, who seemed startled, but still unmoved. I continued,"You can't hate him for things he doesn't think are bad." I finished. I felt sad for the man.

He lost his love, and is probably gonna be thinking about it when She... his partner arrives. "But, it doesn't mean that you still can't capture him. It's not YOUR life anymore foolish Chris. The whole world's fate weighs on your shoulders. So BSAA man, what do you expect to do, after you have heard my speech?" I said, crossing my arms, pissed off, and tired.

"I'm going to capture Irving, and take down Wesker." Yes, Chris. This is exactly why I hate misunderstanding people like you.(A/N:Sorry to Chris fans, told ya in the beginning didn't I?)

"Good, now stop here, the mission... begins now." I said, taking out one of Wesker's old guns. Chris eyed the gun suspiciously, but decided it would be wiser not to ask.

"Hello, my name is Sheva Alomar. I'm your partner for this mission." She said, I tried to act like a gun, by sneakily putting my gun in it's holster and saying,"We're on a mission? I thought we were on vacation." I said, every word dripping with sarcasm.

"This is a mission from the BSAA. Who are you?" She asked, concerned, but also annoyed by my disrespectful tone.

"Umineko Ai. In english it means Sea Of Love Cat. or just switch the names, it becomes Ai Umineko. Or you can just call me Jigoku Shoujo.. Sorry, just call me Jigoku Shoujo please, it seems, more comforting." I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. She did.

"Chris, this is your partner... You might not be together very long." I said, as he instantly caught on, then started thinking of Jill.

"Is he ok?" Sheva said, asking me. I nodded saying it was about his horrible past. She nodded, believing the lie. Oh well, I can explain to her later.

"Let the missions begin." I said, hoping nothing bad would happen, but knowing it would anyway.

'Dear God,

for christmas.. oops my bad.

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like to live this game.' I thought as I walked away with the two BSAA members.

A/N: So, how was it, I rushed a little at the end to watch anime, sorry. =(

Won't do it again, but anyway, please review. =)

3 more and I'll do another chapter, for realsies this time.


	5. The old voice vs the new voice

I wish this were Anime.

A/N: Hello fellow resident evil fans, as well as fanfiction fans. I apologize for my absence, as to... ummmm... have a summer vacation. Anyway, I have been doing this for a while, this story I mean, and a lot of people seem to like it. I'm very happy that I am able to be supported by the readers of this story, so I wanna make each chapter better than the last. =D

Me:Hey Chris! =D

Chris: Hi Jigoku.

Sheva:... hi Jigoku.

Me:Today, I wanna do the disclaimer with everyone! =D

Chris and Sheva: Really?

Me: really.

Chris and Sheva: OK!

Me, Chris, and Sheva: WE DO NOT OWN RESIDENT EVIL OR FANFICTION. CAPCOM OWNS RESIDENT EVIL! =D

On with the story:

as we were walking towards the village, I smelt something horrible. Yes dear readers, rotting flesh. I hated rotting flesh, I hated smelling it, but it wasn't nearly as bad as looking at it. It was covered in blood! I tried not to look at it, but I did anyway, and I could feel my insides churning, as I drooped my head, and made the widest grin I could make, widening my eyes, and started laughing. Laughing and laughing and laughing. It felt so good, but it hurt so bad, my chuckles, turning into manical laughs of terror, caused wet droplets of fear to drop from my eyelids.

As Sheva was far ahead, Chris stayed closer as to make sure I was fine, but noticed I was much further behind then I outta be. He looked around a corner, and instantly found me, clutching myself, as I laughed, and cried at the same time. Only stopping to gasp for air, I fell to my knees, this was a lot harder than I thought it would be... I know to my eyes, it's just really good graphical blood, but... it seemed too real. Had Capcom gone too far with the graphics?

I kept laughing and crying till some one had broken it. It was Chris, what a real nice guy."Hey, are you ok? Your laughing and all the villagers are whispering." I stood up with a dark face, and walked past him, whispering:". If they have something to say, they shouldn't be such a coward as too whisper it to others." Ok, I lied, I said it loud enough for them to hear, and they smirked, and just continued to beat the poor and still sane children they had left.

I sighed, shaking my head and silently thanked Chris, walking to Sheva, and asked:"Where are we going?"

"To get weapons." She said nonchelantly. I looked at her, wondering, if this were anime, a giant sweatdrop would be right next to my head. I sighed once again, and walked on the road, waiting to get to the tent of... zzzzZZzzzzZZZzzz *HEY! AI! THE SCRIPT!* huh? oh yeah, I forgot his bystanding name, so I won't bother to we kept walking, we finally reached the tent in what seemed like forever to me, which in reality, was actually only 1 minute.

But the minute we reached it, everyone dissapeared. I thought this to be not only crazy, but impossible.

I walked in an instantly began ignoring him, and picked up a weapon, and only heard him complaining about how expensive the weapons were. Crybaby. I took a handgun, and loaded it, putting it on safety, after one of my episodes with Wesker, when I accidentally-*Wesker: NO! you are NOT telling that story!*... fine, grumpy. I fail to see how bad it was. *Wesker: Then you fail...* Shut up. Can we go back to the story? Thanks. Chris looked at me, and I gave him the gun, knowing I had one of Wesker's ammo popping out of thin air guns.

I walked past them as I heard the question I thought I would never hear... ever. "What do you know about the Uroborus?" I clenched my fists just hearing it. I knew this virus was very powerful, but also uncontrollable. It was also very real. Sometimes, I wish it wasn't real. Or at least didn't know it was."Something about visions of a deadly project." Heh I thought, visions, or reality. I knew it was all real. But somehow.. I wished it wasn't. I wished that I could go back home and not have to worry about anything.

But that would be selfish. That would be wrong. And more importantly, that would be impossible. I hadn't listened to anything else he and my... friends had said, but I knew he said good luck to us as he went out the back door. Telling us to be careful. We all knew we wouldn't be able to, no matter how hard we tried. I told them I had to do something that involved leaving through the same way we came in, and they asked me why. I ignored them walking out.

As soon as I was out of eye sight and ear shot, I sighed. That sigh had not lasted long, for I was hit on the back of the head, and knocked out. I woke up in a travelling van with... with Irving and Jill... "Had my life taken a turn for the worst?" I asked to myself not knowing I had just said that last sentence out loud.

"What do you mean you brat?" Said Irving, pathetically trying to scare me. Ha, bastard I saw Alice:Madness Returns, none of your shit scares me anymore. So, to confuse him, I decided to act like someone I thought I could never act as... Alice Lidell.

"Well that is very rude sir you should apologize. Including kidnapping me, which is impolite. Oh my speaking of impolite, my name is Umineko Ai, nice to meet you!" I said in the most possible way of acting like my game idol. He calmed down and said:"My name is Ricardo Irving. I'm a business man with stannddurrddsss." And the lady did not say anything.

"Excuse me miss, why do you wear that awefully funny looking bird mask? I'm pretty sure other people have already made up nicknames for you. Like bird face, or bird head, or beak lady. Or maybe even bird lady." I could hear her start to blush as Ricardo was tearing up trying not to laugh. I could see her clench her fists as I heard a beeping. It was most likely someone I knew of. It was indeed Wesker. I heard them saying things, but other than that, I tried my best not to fall too curiously into their trap.

Before I knew it, Bird lad- I mean Jill was shoving this boxed contraption in my face."Umm, what the hell is this?" I asked taking it in my hands. A voice came out and I became surprised. "It's a phone." Explained Ricardo. Of course I knew what it was, but this was just abnormal. "Ahem," I said into the phone,"What the hell do you want?" I said in my coldest voice possible. Which, wasn't very cold, but I did take the look of the part very well.

"Well aren't we cranky today miss Ai?" He said. His voice had changed, I could tell, I didn't mind... Ok, I did mind, I liked his voice the way it was before, there was no fucking need to change it. I died a little inside when I remembered that this idiot went crazy in this game. I missed the shoot and land Wesker. "Yes, I am indeed cranky. What happened to your voice Wesker? Age change that too?" I asked, knowing he would be confused.

"Why whatever do you mean?" He said, acting innocent. Innocent my ass. "Don't play that on me, we all know when you were like 38 and 43, you sounded like a robot. A freaking robot trying to sound human." I said, and finished with,"Anyway, why did you kidnap me? If it was for Chris, I have only known him in this world, for about 2... 3 hours tops. No way would he sacrifice his life for someone like me." I said, my eyes darkening. He already had an answer for my every counter attack.

"It is because he met you, that he will risk his life to save you. Because that is the Chris I trained." He spoke of Chris so easily. He spoke of him with hatred, and reassurance, of his confidence, not in only himself, but his plan as well. I smirked, knowing he couldn't see me anyways and said," Well then Albert, good luck with your plan." I said, knowing he hated being called Albert as I heard the two in front laughing as Wesker, or should I say, Albert, was groaning on the other end.

"Well, I would like to say good bye, but it's not because I'll be seeing you again." I said, snapping the phone closed and handing it to Jill. "Why did you back talk to him?" Asked Jill. I simply answered,"Because he's weak." Now, not physically, trust me, if I meant physically, then I must be freakin God. No, I meant in his heart, and in his mind, he was potentially weak in those areas. She didn't know what I meant, but kept quiet, understanding the saying, but not knowing how my heart could be any stronger than his if I was a mere child.

I was not saying I was stronger, I was merely saying his was not strong enough. Not strong enough to hold the realities of life in his heart and mind. His insanity and sins will be paid for, I can guarantee you that.

_A/N: Good? Bad? Please Review, sorry for not putting one up in a long time. =(_

_Hope you like this. =)_


	6. Welcome to hell population me

Hi HI!

A/N: I have a feeling people have been reading my chapters... I am putting this one up to test ya'll!

Me: And our guest star... is... *reads paper* ugh. wesker. come on wesker.

Wesker: What? I save your life, and this is what you do?

Me: yeah. This is what I do. now do you wanna do the copyright notice or are we gonna keep arguing all day?

Wesker:... fine.

Me and Wesker: We do not own Resident evil (though I wish I could), Capcom does.

Me: I can still make some MMD of Wesker or something. just imagine it, dancing caramelldansen, mattryoshka, and even nyan nyan cat.

Wesker: Do that and you die.

Me: Do that and the story stops, and you cease to exist.

Wesker:...

Me: Yeah. thought so. anyway, this is getting annoyingly long, so i'll go on to the story! =3

*VERY FIRST BORDER RESIDENT EVI WTF!*

_"Well, I would like to say good bye, but it's not because I'll be seeing you again." I said, snapping the phone closed and handing it to Jill. "Why did you back talk to him?" Asked Jill. I simply answered,"Because he's weak." Now, not physically, trust me, if I meant physically, then I must be freakin God. No, I meant in his heart, and in his mind, he was potentially weak in those areas. She didn't know what I meant, but kept quiet, understanding the saying, but not knowing how my heart could be any stronger than his if I was a mere child._

_I was not saying I was stronger, I was merely saying his was not strong enough. Not strong enough to hold the realities of life in his heart and mind. His insanity and sins will be paid for, I can guarantee you that._

As I walked through the big double door leaded by Irving and Jill, I noticed it... Him, sitting in the chair. Wesker. I yawned, obviously bored. I turned to him and said, "Hi Wesker. It's been a long time. How old are you? 49? I'm still only 14 compared to the last time you saw me. I guess your not as much of a God as you hoped you were." As I smiled, I heard him grunt, but he was still trying to stay emotionless.

"You believe that? I am a GOD. I am saving this world!" He said, trying to preach me... what is this, church?

"On that note, what do you even want me for? other than bait for chris, like mokuba for kaiba, like princess peach for mario, like... phineas and ferb for perry the platypus." I said, seriously confused as to why he would up and kidnap me out of nowhere. I then realised, that since I am not of this universe, I obviously should not exist, but here I am, breathing, talking, walking.

"Two obvious reasons, one, you said you were a vampire. two, when you disappeared from that seat 11 years ago, your vision failing, your stupidity growing, as you vanished, I realised something that came to mind. It was the most obvious thing ever. I ventured through that horrid mansion over and over again before I ever found you, and no traces of you have ever been there. But somehow, when I leave, even though there was tracks of my guns, there were no tracks of your blood. Look at you, you're barefoot."

" There was glass everywhere, and yet there were no cuts, or bruises or even the slightest scratch on the bottom of your foot. making it impossible for you to have been there, and yet there you were, innocently cuddling yourself in a corner as a zombie was about to eat you."

"I can't believe I saved you. I didn't realise it then, the missing shoes, the grunts from when you got those unsightly cuts. It just seemed impossible, that only now blood was sprawled on the ground, the fact that you could calm down even Lisa Trevor. When I left, and went back to Umbrella Corporation, I ordered a search on you. You were nowhere to be seen on this planet, as if you had vanished. Never existed. But then I told them to search your name and history. What came up was-"

"Was that I never existed in the first place.. I don't. one. two, I am not a vampire, that punch was a lucky one. That just shows how much dignity and pride you unknowingly lost that day." I said to him, ripping off the 'bracelet of power', showing him nothing would happen anyhow. I chuckled lightly as he grumbled, having lost a very important part of his plan. Well, not THE PLAN, but a plan. I was but a minor character in his charade to lead in the fool that would save me.. the fool that would end this.

It would never end. His father would come and take revenge for killing his test subject.. I mean child. He would be twice as strong as Wesker, and he would easily take everything down to pieces and crush them with his foot till they are no more. He would carry out his son's wishes. "What exactly do you mean by lucky?" He said, quiet rage sounding through his vocals as he unconciously hit the knee rest on the chair, demanding answers.

"Well, it may have been because I had just woken up, that I was so hyper and it made me stronger," I said, scratching the back of my head due to the lame excuse," Sorry.." I said, looking away, not really caring if his My-ego-is-twice-the-size-of-Kaiba's attitude grunted in ungreatfulness.

I ignored it, and said,"Umm, by the way, since i'm being kidnapped and all, do you know where my room is?" I asked, knowing even kidnapped people get rooms in this drama suspense game.

I heard him sigh and he said,"Next to Excella's. Have fun." He said. Being him, he must have known I hated Excella, then again, since he has good memory it could have been during the mansion incident where I kept annoying him going,"That SLUT of Excella! UGH! I hate her!" to "Excella that money whore." where I kept ranting on about how much I hated Excella, but during that time, I didn't know I was speaking it out loud. He may think that I can tell the future then.

Maybe that's why he needs me. I thought, I pushed off the thought and continued to follow Excella until I saw my.. room right next to hers. I groaned in annoyance, knowing I would have to deal with Excella for GOD KNOWS HOW LONG, ugh, I thought. I then came up with a Higurashi no naku koro ni rei reference and when the time came, to try it out.

But I knew that he would not approve, so I mentally groaned and walked into my room. The second I walked in, I screamed. I screamed because it was the dream room I had wanted. I had not told him, but he may have been lucky.. like me.

The closet with a walk in, my very own bed with silk sheets and a Kuroshitsuji blanket, with a matching death note on top of my bleach anime pillow. Alongside it was a dresser drawer with my very own sword and clock.

As I was scanning the room, I thanked Wesker who was there because of my fangirly scream, and ran to the newly found bathroom that held a shower with a name on it.

Specifically my name. I had a rough time brushing out my hair, especially being with Chris for so long... oh right, and Sheva. I think she was there too.. But I really don't care right now, I was just thanking the gods for allowing this to be here.

When I got out, I saw an outfit already laid out on the bed. I thought it was from Wesker, and it answered my question when i unraveled the clothing from it's nestled folding place, and found a jumper suit that looked exactly like Jill's.

I inwardly cursed and went to my closet of 21st century clothes and pulled out what seemed to be good enough to be an outfit. I quickly put on my clothes and noticed a make up stand like in those sick puff movies. I cringed and thought maybe I could take out my frustration on this piece of copy prop.

I walked up and just as I was about to hit the glass, there was a knocking from the door. I opened the door and saw one of Wesker's random scientists. Instantly he lives up to random scientists everywhere just by the ghastly sight of his science trenchcoat, striped green-white tie, boring white shirt with a tag, and worst of all, the slacks.

Oh the horrible skin colored slacks, with the knee socks and black toed shoes that look like they came out of a bowling arena. Which most likely they did. I continue to examine him and down his points on the interesting meter for about a minute before I hear him cough, trying to get me to pay attention.

I lose myself in thought again about how lamely close to a movie this is and continue to believe that he is a second rate spy."...Ai? Umineko Ai." My own name. I think obviously, and look at him with a duh. face, and says instead:

"Yes?" I say, obviously not wanting to deal with it. He can hear the annoyance in my voice and takes out a needle, one of my many fears. I try and shut the door on him but his foot gets in the way, and I hear a sickening crunch. One that makes my stomache lurch. One that makes me sick beyond recognition.

A sight that makes me tear up, because I am an obvious idiot. I gently open the door, only to be welcomed by the scientist's painful screams. Wesker is already there, looking at his foot, and the door, then to the needle, and easily putting the pieces together.

I crumple within, and all I can see, is a smirking Excella in the background, and a scientist being carried off in a gurney by some other scientists who are now walking in a distance as close as they can to the wall furthest from me. I lower my head, and wait for them to be out of sight before I close the door, and slide down the wall, in as they say,"Pain and defeat."

I hear some whimpers and locate them, only to find them scratching their way up my throat. I kept thinking about that poor man, what if he has a family? What if he has a child? A wife? A house? A set life... I know it's overdramatic for a foot, but I could easily see the bone, I could already tell that he would be in medical care for a few months, something he shouldn't have to go through.

Before I know it, I'm crying. I'm crying so much and I can't stop it, no matter how much I will it, I can't. I sit on my bed for a good thirty minutes hugging my Bleach anime pillow crying into it, hoping to stifle the whines. By the time I am done fully crying, it has already been 2 hours. It is already eight in the afternoon.

I get off and clean myself up, hoping they won't notice. The easy guilt I just gained from a foot. A broken foot. And a whole lot more in store if I don't leave this universe fast. I walk to dinner with different clothes.

Specifically a bow tie, a maroon fez with golden stripe thingy strings, That pants with the strings that attach to your chest...(if you could tell me what they are called that would be lovely.), the light brown jacket with dark brown patches stitched to it with white string along with the handy dandy dark brown trench that goes with the black shoes.

Yes, the automatic doctor who outfit. I chuckled lightly and went to the dining room with everyone else. I sit down and expect everyone to care... even if just a little scolding. But they all glare and continue to eat. Even Wesker... The person who saved my life, and vise versa. I swear under my breath but catches a stern and quick glare from Wesker, probably telling me that sort of language is unsightly.

I mentally curse Excella out for giving me this silent treatment. She probably didn't know, but she must have used it for her advantage. She may have heard Wesker absentmindedly talking about it, you know, since I kinda spilled my guts to him.

I know, stupid. But it was hella boring in there. Even the zombies looked bored! As we continue to eat, I feel like the crystal ball shining for a curious homeless man. I continue to eat, but continue to vision the demon like glares in my direction, and in pressure, I slam my fork and knife down next to my plate of medium rare steak with drizzle and orange juice with some english muffins.

Everyone, not including Wesker is startled, and looks up at me, as I look down and say,"Excuse me. I'm done," I stop for a few seconds, unable to continue, and walks away, only turning to say,"Bye."

I walk a few more paces before I am out of Wesker's hearing and I run. I run anywhere. I keep thinking what if that was Wesker's best scientist, and now thanks to me he has to use second rate scientists that probably can't understand it, hell, I can't understand it.

I can only understand what is going to happen because I have cheated. I have the ultimate cheat sheet in this world. In this time slot, here. I keep on running and running until I bump into something. A door. Tightly shut, too keep nuiscances out...

_To keep me out._

I'm not stupid though and even Excella knows that. I look at the flashing red lights, and see a keyboard with a three letter password. I scoff and enter:GOD, laughing to myself about how easy Wesker's password could be, and how no one got in before him.

Then again, they are all afraid of him, I don't think they even want to be near HIM. I look in and I see something horrible. Tubes with brains. With uroboros, their very venom being sucked out. Tubes with eyes, looking straight at me. Security guards, and so much more.

I only looked for about a minute before harshly closing the doors, the only thing standing between me, and Wesker's cold, disturbing hobby. I drop down and crab walk away from it, still in shock. But I was the foolish one.

I should have prepared, I should have thought. This Wesker, is older now, smarter, scarier. I should have calculated, I shouldn't have played this off as though it was nothing because... because it's not. I feel myself bump once again into something. Something I believe to be the wall, but I take my hand to test my thoughts...

I feel something round, like a leg... like a leg, I think. I panic and look up, only to be greeted by the blonde's cold demon like stare behind those thick thick shades of his. I retreat across the hallway in a flash cartoon like and hold my arms up like a vampire or a chinese chi demon with garlic.

I slowly lower them down and scratch the back of my head in awkwardness, and try to break the silence before he beats me.

"Sooooo..."I say not really knowing how to continue."I see you got new shades there... umm... look I'm not good at lying.." I say, waving my hand like a white flag in defeat. He nods readily as if already knowing that. Because he probably does do to my loose bag of secrets lying metaphorically on the floor.

"Sooo, ummm, how long... have you been standing there?" I ask, wondering just how much he knew.

"Long enough to see you hacked into my lab. Your lucky you didn't get caught by the guards, or you would be doing worse punishment. But luck doesn't always stay with you." He says as a matter of fact, as though he knows what it's like to have luck on the other side, the side that happens to be your enemy's side.

Because he does. And because I know that, I cannot show that weakness to the cold cold man... thing he has become now, as I look at him and say," Oh. I know a quite..." I pause and think for a second. Just a second, but it seems like forever, because it seems like he is analyzing me for any mistakes. But I shake it off and continue,"well example of luck... turning against you, persay." I say, absentmindedly shaking him off and walking past him.

Before I walk past him, I whisper,"Silence will fall... It always does. And when it does, I will die." I didn't want it to be the truth.. but it was. These hopping from one universe to the next was hazardous. This is only the second time... two times too many, and it has already taken a toll on my health.

"I am 14... I think... I am 14..."

It has not only taken a toll on health, but memory. It is causing me to turn more and more into nothing but a sane character that withholds no information of the universe whatsoever...

A bad case of amnesia, but this could be worldwide. I run to my room and get all my old clothes out of the laundry pack and unload everything. All my adventures in Detective Conan and the little mini adventure I had with the B.S.A.A members. I take them out and stash them where no one would look, no one at all and I ask Wesker for a treasure box, a specific one, one shaped like a box.

But no ordinary box, a blue box, a blue police box with all it's little memories inside, as the mad man travels freely. He stares for a second, but nods, thinking it's a child's delusion, and that even though as cold as he may act, he is still Wesker.

The Wesker I believe to know. But it's not. Now that he is like this, it will never be him. Not... HIM.

Chapter 6.5

The next morning I wake up, and next to me is the very same blue police box, with the light and even makes the vworp vworp sound when I open the door. They know me so well they made it bigger on the inside, but I can already tell their secret.

They hooked it up to a wall that connected to a room much bigger, and made it look like the scene of doctor who. But it made me glad to know that the scientists here are doctor who fans. I walk out triumphantly only to see everything all wigged out.

Everything was so weird, it was a combination of Jackie chan and fruits baskets and kuroshitsuji and howl's moving castle and supernatural, doctor who... bleach so many of my favorite shows and animes and resident evil. Wesker was arguing with Aizen about who had a worst past.

Ichigo was fighting with kyo about their hair, while Haru was following Yuki who tried to shake him off his tail. lol talk about irony. I thought it would last forever, this wonderful thing..

As though it were a dream, I thought. And then I began to think.. It was all a dream, I configured as everyone's voices were suddenly drowned out by something annoying... something whooshy, something vworpy. My alarm clock.

I wake up with a start and hit the off button, and get up. Getting ready for another day of hell.

_CHAPTER 6 DONE_

_A/N: Sooo? It took me a long time, I'm sorry but I didn't know what to add, because it involved a complicated version and a long version and I didn't know what to do so it took me a while. Anyway, I hope you like this, and persay our deal, may you please make chapter 18 of Chris Who?_

_KioniYuki: Thank you for the tips, they greatly helped me out, not just here, but also in school so I greatly thank you again. I do not want to change the first chapter as it is a way of showing everyone the obvious change in my typing as I further this story. =3_

_Did that sound sophisticated? I hope it did cause I'm trying really hard. And I mean did it sound sophisticated before I asked if it was sophisticated. lol look at me rambling and I still have to do the goodbye script._

_Me: Well, it's been such a long time, I believe that everyone*cough except Sheva cough* should be able to costar._

_Wesker: Where is Excella?_

_Me: Oh... busy.. doing stuff... Ok I kidnapped her and threw her in a closet tied up. until the thing is over that is._

_Chris: 0_0 ..._

_Me: What? I hate her. And Sheva. But not as much as Excella._

_Sheva: HEY!_

_Me: Oh is that a buzzing I hear? I think it's from that truck heading straight toward Sheva._

_Sheva: *dodges but jumps out 5th floor window.*_

_Me: ohhh hweellll.._

_Wesker: You were hoping for that._

_Me: I know. But it was worth it. Anyway, everyone say goodbye, this might happen again._

_All but me and Wesker: WHATTTTTTTTT? STOP BEING SO LAZY!_

_Me: It's not my fault I'm lazy, blame chi demons. Well, come on guys! =3_

_All: Goodbye everyone, we hope. And I mean HOPE, to see you soon. =3_


End file.
